Comparing Elton To Former Stiffs

I'm not calling Brand a stiff. At least not yet. He still has time to redeem himself for continuously getting injured and having trouble fitting in. 

But for now, I am going to compare him to former ones as I got this idea from reading some of the comments people left on the700level.com.

It is pretty obvious that these guys I am about to mention, like Brand, had trouble staying off of the "schnide." This is not in any particular order by the way. 

Stiff No. 1: Derrick "D.C." Coleman

After coming out of Syracuse University as the first overall pick in the 1990 draft with a lot of promise, he at first lived up to the hype by winning Rookie of the Year with the New Jersey Nets. The Nets also made the playoffs a few seasons with D.C. averaging around 20 and 10.

But then, he started to become the D.C. he is famous for. The Nets got a new head coach and the big man who was once compared to Karl Malone became lazy.

In 1995, he came to the Sixers and acted like a bum. He was always hurt and always a behind the scenes problem.

He eventually left for Charlotte and continued his crap there. But then, in 2001, Coleman was traded back to the 76ers. While he was still always getting hurt and underachieving, he was better his second stint than his first. 

I grew to like D.C. a lot. I liked his range with the jump shot. However, in the end, regardless of whether he was better or not his second time around with the Sixers, he will always be remember as a underachieving, always hurt STIFF.

Stiff No. 2: Matt Geiger

After his first year with the Sixers, 1998-99, was great, the team signed him to a very lucrative long-term deal. Once that happened, this hustling big man turned into the brown stuff we flush down toilets. 

Always hurt and always soft, Geiger quickly became a non-fan favorite. Remember the "Matt Tigers?" HA! What a joke that was. 

The sad part is, this guy is most remembered and loved for the fight he picked with Reggie Miller and the Pacers in Game 4 of the 2000 NBA Eastern Conference Semi-Finals.

It was the one time he was not soft. Hey, at least it help us win a couple of games and not get swept. Still, this guy is without question a STIFF.

Stiff No. 3: Shawn Bradley

Need I say more? This guy was 7 feet 6 inches and ALWAYS HURT his rookie year. He made soft look like a common brand of play. Holy moley was this guy soft. Oh and then, he is the one we traded to get Coleman in 1995. Wow! One stiff, two stiff, three stiff, four! Who the heck was our general manager back then?

Hey, there is one positive out of this. At least he wasn't a Sixer when this happened:

Stiff No. 4: Keith Van Horn

First, he didn't want to be with us. 

Then, he underachieved with the Nets. He went to one NBA Finals with them. WOOPTY DOO! Jason Kidd took you guys there.

Maybe he wasn't always hurt, but he was soft. And he always did that "put his hands thing up in the air" when he made a three. Actually, I thought that was cool, but still, that is all he did and he was supposed to be our No. 2 guy behind Allen Iverson.

For some reason, he was only here one year. Still, STIFF.

Stiff No. 5: Glenn Robinson

BIG DOG! WOOF WOOF! 

More like small dog and always injured. Ouch ouch.

 

His most notable and best days were with the Bucks.

This picture has no relevance. I just LOVE it and felt like putting it in. Look familiar and memorable.

Anyway, he only played 42 games the one year he was here.

STIFF!

Stiff No. 6: Chris Webber

He was a perennial All-Star with the Sacramento Kings.

He was a perennial bum when he came to us. Always hurt and later complaining, C-Webb was a waste of moolah. 

STIFF!

Stiff No. 7: Jeff Ruland

This is the guy I am hearing a lot of people mention with the recent Brand news. 

This guy was a stud with the Washington Bullets in the first half of the 1980s. Then, he was traded to the 76ers for MOSES MALONE AND A NUMBER ONE OVERALL DRAFT PICK! NOT A FIRST ROUND PICK! THE NUMBER ONE STINKING OVERALL DRAFT PICK!

 Here is a link to his stats and then to his story. It is too painful to describe with words.

Let the pictures below describe his rapid decline.

He went from this...

...to this...

...to this...

...and then finished out his career with this:

STIFF!

He is now an assistant coach with the 76ers.

There are probably more where that came from. As a matter of fact, knowing the history of this franchise, there are more.

But, these are the guys who come to mind right away.

I just hope Elton can rebound and not be remembered like numbers one through seven here.

STIFFS!